Hello, internet people who may-or-may-not be reading this journal entry.
Whether you read this or not is unimportant, I simply need to vent all this information.

You'll have to forgive me, I had temporarily forgotten you existed. For the last however long I've been running around pre-civilised Hyrule smacking things with a magical, talking sword.

In English: I finally got my hands on the Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword!
And finished it!
And then did it in Hero Mode!
And then normal again!
And then my mother kicked me away from the Wii so that she can play it!
(And then I'm going to play Twilight Princess for the millionth time!)

SPOILERS ARE PRESENT AHEAD:

While the graphics aren't quite up to the standards of Twilight Princess (best damn game ever _{(I can just see the hardcore OoT fans lining up to crucify me in the Shadow Temple for that statement...)}) I did get distracted by the pretty colours every now and then.

My favourite aspect of the game was the new controls... even if I did have to pay £16 for motion-plus just to play the game, this time it was worth it. It was also nice that despite the change in controls it still felt like LoZ. Pushing boxes, hitting boss monsters in the eye... saving a certain "special snowflake" with the informed attribute of "wisdom".

While I do love controls, they do have their challenges/downsides. No longer may we mash the buttons of the controller or wildly swing the Wii-remote screaming: "DIE!""DIE!""DIE!""DIE!""DIE!""DIE!""DIE!""DIE!""DIE!""DIEDIEDIEDIEDIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Not that that stopped me in the third battle with The Imprisoned. ) as we could once do in Twilight Princess (sometimes). Nope. Now you have to get the angles and occasionally the timing of your slashes right, and you can't rely on your items as much. Killing deku-babas and skulltulas is a miniature challenge all on its own... and don't get me started on beamos.

Speaking of annoying enemies and time. What the f*ck Nintendo!?! I knew Moldarach was too easy a boss, I bloody knew it. I finish one of the most irritating dungeons ever (I don't like desert dungeons, they piss me off), kill a giant scorpion (twice, since my sister can't beat it) and then what do I get?

Another boss. Another frigging BOSS. With a time limit. A TIME LIMIT. 5 minutes after the last boss! And then I'm told I'll have to fight it AGAIN.

And the next time it has ARMS.
And then it can fly. FLY for gods' sake!
And still has a time limit!!!

Then there was Fi.
As companions go she wasn't so bad. I mean my first experience was "HEY LISTEN! Listen to me constantly reminding you about the "cloud over Death Mountain" despite the fact that you're already half-way up there, and instead of providing useful advice!"

Though "Your hearts are running low" is hardly an improvement.
No really!? You mean that loud incessant, infernal beeping means I'm dying!?! I had no idea!!!!
Also: "The Batteries in your Wii remote are running low"
Fourth wall, Fi! It's-a-crumblin'.

Damn do I miss Midna. True her laughing often ticked me off, but it was better than "HEY LISTEN!" and Midna was actually an interesting and likeable character for me.

Hell, Zelda in Spirit Tracks was a useful companion... overlooking the rat problems.

Speaking of Zelda... why is she trying to kill me? Twice she shoved Link over the edge of a sheer drop (looking far-too cheerful while she was at it). Geez. Maybe I shouldn't have insulted her choice in clothes...
Well, at least she made herself useful to the plot other than the whole "being kidnapped". Honestly, we might as well have replaced her with a doll in past games.

Link appears to have achieved a level or two in badass in recent years, as well as a few snark-options. "Am I late" indeed.
Also; Triforce is mine now bitches! :evilllaugh: (Carried away? Who me? Nah.)
...and the omnipresent laziness is still there. The beginning of Oracle of Ages/Seasons/Ocarina of Time/Wind Waker/Twilight Princess/Skyward Sword? He's sleeping.
The fate of the world rests upon the shoulder of a lazy teenage boy who spends most of his time sleeping, daydreaming or being pushed around by bossy girls and young children.
Our protagonist!

I have to say, I still don't care much for the LinkxZelda pairing. The only times I can see it without rolling my eyes and gagging is in Wind Waker , Phantom Hourglass(I love Tetra) and Spirit Tracks (When she was USEFUL). I don't ship at all, actually. However; Zelda > Ilia.

Though it's easier to put up with Zelda than Ghirahim. Seriously. His words. His demeanour. His TONGUE.
If I were Link, I'd bolt before I got raped. Seriously creeeeeepy.
His actions make me "Furious! Outraged! SICK WITH ANGER!" (lol. Sorry, couldn't help myself)
He's a flamboyant (in one form; effeminate) and disturbing psychopath. I adore him, but I really do not want to know what he whispered in Links ear (especially after the horrified expression Link pulled!). Also the "playing" lines, the "discipline" mention... and then he turns into a goddamn sword and my poor gutter-dwelling mind collapsed.

"RUN LINK! RUN!"

Though it is nice to finally get a proper explanation as to why Ganondorf will not stay dead no matter how many times I ram the master sword through his god-damn forehead.

I still think Zelda is redundant though. Other than being a plot device what are you for?
In every game you fail horribly at your duty to protect your kingdom, leaving Link to clean up.
Link is the hero who is doomed to be reincarnated to battle Ganon/other-variant-villain, and save your sorry a**.
Ganon is the reincarnation of a demon-king's eternal undying hatred who keeps coming back to annoy everybody.
...If her name wasn't in the title, would Zelda even be in these games at all?

Do you get the feeling I don't like Zelda?
I don't.

While we're on the topic of things I hate... the Ancient Cistern.
Nintendo... I did not enjoy the Shadow Temple.
I have nightmares of the Shadow Temple.
Nobody likes the mass-grave/torture chamber/house of unholy evil that is the Shadow Temple.
WHAT THE HELL GAVE YOU THE IDEA THAT SENDING THE PLAYER TO HELL WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR A DUNGEON!?!?!
Zombies in the basement!!! (At least there we no ReDeads or Gibdos...)
[It appears that the dungeon was based on a Buddhist tale; The Spider's Thread. It's all like; "Oh, this is pretty... what's wrong with it!?". Then you descend down into the hell basement. Then you climb up a rope and- oh look! The zombies are following me!!! How wonderful(!)]

And the boss... it laughs. You hurt it and it smiles, and it LAUGHS.
Never again shall I sleep.
Next thing you know the Joker will be a LoZ boss... that'd be interesting.

But one of the best things about the game is that it came with the limited edition orchestra CD.

I swear I'd buy the games just for the sound tracks.
Funny that no matter how some of the tunes are altered across the games they can still be recognised. It's not LoZ until I've heard the main theme tune.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and listen to the Twilight Princess symphonic movement until I can no longer hear.